by June Portnoy
Elaine Miles, a Langhorne resident of eight years, recently marked a significant milestone in her life by publishing her debut memoir, “Razing Elaine”. Now available on Amazon, the book is a candid and deeply personal account of her life’s experiences over a span of sixty years.
Elaine’s memoir is composed of a series of standalone stories, each highlighting pivotal moments in her life. While the stories follow a sequence, they can be read in any order. “It’s an easy read,” she shared. “Each story stands on its own, so you don’t have to follow a particular sequence.”
The tone of “Razing Elaine” is largely deadpan, interwoven with dark humor and sharp social commentary. The memoir explores critical themes such as childhood trauma, the treatment of mental illness, and the struggles of isolated motherhood. “There was no violence growing up, just neglect by default,” Elaine explained.
Her first story, “Wild Child”, captures her upbringing in an environment without rules or parental guidance. “My parents were physically present but emotionally absent. I had free rein, which led to confusion rather than freedom.”
In her story, “Reluctant Mother”, Elaine recounts her early experiences as a young mother suffering from depression, lacking support from her family, and ultimately deciding to leave her husband.
The story, “Merrygoround”, follows her post-divorce struggles, detailing a prolonged custody battle that left her children estranged from her.
Elaine’s journey is one of resilience and reinvention. She initially worked as a medical coder, earning a college degree while still married, before exploring a variety of careers. “I wanted variety,” she said. “I went into quality assurance in healthcare, pursued my master’s degree, worked as a substitute teacher, and even became a belly dancer.” Her foray into belly dancing was driven by a childhood dream. “I paid for ballet lessons myself when I was 12 using babysitting money,” she recalled. Despite leaving the profession due to feelings of not fitting in, she continued to seek creative outlets, even trying ice skating in her forties alongside children much younger than her. “My inner child still wanted a childhood,” she admitted. “That interfered with being a parent because I was still very much a child myself.”
One of the most captivating stories in her memoir, “Wards”, details her experiences within the mental health system while dealing with benzodiazepine withdrawal in 2018. Another, “Meat Market” is a woven tale of dating from a place of insecurity to one of healthy discretion.
“I don’t meet a lot of women like me with this type of past,” Elaine shared. “There’s always a certain loneliness because of that.” Having made it into the middle class, she noted that many with backgrounds like hers don’t typically reach and sustain this social status.
Through her book, she hopes to challenge societal labels and encourage readers to look beyond black-and-white judgments. “Things are gray,” she emphasized. “Trauma is multilayered and plays out in various ways throughout a person’s life.”
Ultimately, “Razing Elaine” is a call for empathy and understanding. Elaine wants readers to reconsider their judgments and reflect on the external and internal forces shaping people’s lives. “We don’t make decisions in a vacuum,” she said. “We are influenced by our past, our society, and our relationships.”
Her journey of self-healing has been deeply spiritual. “I was able to transmute dense emotions like anger and victimhood through energy and spiritual modalities,” she explained. “I was always drawn to wisdom, reading about psychology and spirituality. I knew somewhere in those concepts, I would find my answers.”
Elaine’s memoir is a testament to the power of perseverance. “Each traumatic experience, whether it was a custody battle, an arrest, or a betrayal resulting in the abrupt ending of a twelve year relationship in 2018, was a lesson and an opportunity for growth,” she reflected. “I wasn’t always clear on what I was learning at the time, but I trusted that these experiences were shaping me.”
Her ultimate message? Trust in life. “Mine has been a shero/hero’s journey,” she said. “The common message across all mystical teachings is that a life force of love animates us. Cultivating and protecting that essence is the best thing you can do for yourself. When you focus on the core of who you are, life can become simpler by giving attention and energy only to what truly matters.”
Today, Elaine lives in a Langhorne suburban neighborhood, working as a life coach and practicing hot stone massage. At 65, she embraces her new role as an author and hopes to start writing another book. She also leads a monthly book club and enjoys traveling, having visited Scotland, the Bahamas, Mexico, and Baltimore last year. She sings in the Pennsbury Community Chorus and the Capital Singers of Trenton, finding joy in artistic expression.
Elaine is eager to engage with readers through virtual and in-person events, offering insights on childhood trauma, mental illness, isolated motherhood, spousal abuse, spiritual concepts, and the challenges of making a living as a creative person. “I look forward to guest appearances and podcast invitations,” she said.
For more information, or to order “Razing Elaine”, visit razingelaine.com.